San Diego ComicCon: Day 3
Stuff I did on Saturday:
1. WB Presents: Superman Returns: Brian Singer of Usual Suspects, X-men, and X2 fame, flew in to ComicCon directly from the set of Superman Returns with a rough reel of film in his carry-on bag. He showed the never-before-seen footage to 7,000 screaming fans.
Brian is… man, I hate that guy. He’s rich, good looking, young, funny, friendly, personable, and has the best fucking job on the planet. God, it makes me want to strangle him!
Ok, not really. The world needs Bryan Singer to save us from crapfests like the Elektra movie. Bryan came out and broke the ice with the crowd by pretending his mike didn’t work, then refusing to sit and going to the podium to chat with everyone. He told jokes, laughed, and said that he dropped everything on the set of Superman to come to ComicCon, at great personal inconvenience and studio expense (them sets charge by the day, and it ain’t cheap). Why? “Because this is SUPERMAN, and you people deserve to see this.” [Paraphrase]
He then showed us a long trailer, which he claimed was rough, but boy, was he wrong. If I had seen that trailer, I would have sworn the movie was done and coming out next week.
The movie looks gooooood. It combines just the right amount of respect for the first two Superman movies, while ignoring the subsequent declining quality ones. There were a lot of executive changes, but the John Williams score and the Marlon Brando voiceovers really tied things together with the old movies and gave me chills from barely-remembered childhood.
The basic plot is that Superman went away (no one knows where) for several years after Superman II ended. For some reason, he returns, and finds the world has moved on without him. Lois Lane is married and has a kid. The world didn’t stop turning without him. And now, people who were hurt by his departure resent his return. Superman is left to ponder whether the world needs him anymore; whether it ever really did. Was he holding humanity back by always being there to catch every person who fell out a window, and rescue every kitten caught in a tree?
The new Lois and Clark look even younger than Margot Kidder and Christopher Reeve, which is odd considering the movie supposedly takes place YEARS after Superman II left off, but Bryan addressed that and asked us to suspend disbelief. As he put it, “When you are starting a movie franchise that will likely spawn sequels, you need to take the age of your actors into consideration.” Fair enough.
2. Light program day. Skipped lunch and really devoted myself to the floor on Saturday. That’s when all the best stuff is put out, and I was determined to at least look at every booth, if only in passing. For those of you who know the convention center, you know what a monumentous task this is, requiring a back and forth from wall to wall down each row, while stopping to check out the booths at the ends and in all the cross-lanes. Imagine mowing the lawn of about three football fields with a push mower, and you get the idea of the walking involved.
Bear in mind that the weight of my shoulder bag was increasing exponentially as all this went on as I accumulated more and more useless crap. Not to mention the fact that there were literally tens of thousands of people there, crowded into the aisles like sardines in a can. I have always been a bit demophobic, and this was not too far from my worst nightmare.
But I focused on the positive. It was a chance to really nerd out, digging through back-issue bins, taking pix of sexy girls in costumes, meeting pornstars, buying toys, and the like. I gave $50 to the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund to renew my membership, bought gifts for my wife and comics I needed to complete my collections, talked to artists, looked at prints I could never afford, and people-watched.
Here’s a brief photo-essay:
These girls were just too goddamn cute for their own good.
Ah, Felicia Hardy, you sexy kitten! When will you stop pining for Spider-man and give me the time of day?
Some Jedi Bitch tried to kill me, but I did a Force-leap backflip over her while summoning my lightsaber from across the room, switching it on and cutting her in half before she could turn around. Oh, and then she fell down a shaft, or something.
3. Aurora Snow had the greatest quote of the convention. I know her from the Howard Stern Show and the Playboy channel, where she has her own call in show. I think it’s called Night Calls 411, or something.
Aurora, as you can see from the picture, is a natural beauty with an incredibly innocent look. No implants, no plastic surgery, just a gorgeous smile and the raw magnetism of youth, health, and exuberance.
She is also one of the filthiest porno stars in the business. There is nothing this girl won’t do. Seriously. Bring a goat onto the set, and she’ll yawn and be like “Ho-hum.”
Anyway, I listened as she chatted with another fan, while I was waiting for my 10 seconds of face time. Aurora is INCREDIBLY friendly. She chats with her fans like they are the only person in the room and she’s thrilled to be there, and I believe her when she says she answers all her own e-mail. She was telling this guy that she doesn’t strip because she dances like a spaz, and is afraid of breaking her neck in those 5 inch clear heels strippers wear. She’s taking belly dancing lessons, though. Ye, gods!
So there I am, looking through her DVD’s when the guy she was talking to leaves. She turns to me with a BIG friendly smile, points to the random DVD I am holding, and asks,
“Hi! Would you like me to sign that copy of Assploitation #2 for you?”
I mean really. What would YOU have said?
4. Lightsabers: Like at any good con, they were selling Lightsabers. Of course, these were going for $120 a pop! Sure, they were the cooles light sabers I had ever seen, but STILL. $120? They better come with a blowjob.
Of course, this outrageous price didn’t stop anyone. They must have sold 10,000 of those goddamn things. Any man between the ages of 20 and 60, if asked by their son “Can I please have a lightsaber, daddy?” will immediately answer “Of course you can!” witht the same instinctive vehemence that they would answer “No!” if asked by their spouse if she looked fat. So really, under the circumstances, when he sees that $120 price tag, what’s a dad to do? Let his son go without a lightsaber? Not bloody likely!
They sold so many of those damned things that in all the movie premieres, they had to make announcements saying “Please turn off your cell phones, pagers, and extinguish your lightsabers for the duration of the program.”
Yeesh. No wonder nerds have a bad name.
Stuff I didn’t get to do on Saturday cuz I was busy doing the stuff I did:
1. What’s new at Image: I wanted to go to this to hear Scott Kurtz of PVP talk, but it was too early, and I’ve already met him, so I skipped it.
2. Aeon Flux with Charlize Theron: Does anyone remember this old MTV Liquid Television show? I mean really remember it? More than just what the chick looked like, and the show opener where she had a fly land on her eyeball and caught it with her lashes? Yeah, me neither.
3. No Stranger: Terry Moore: Terry Moore does Strangers in Paradise. I highly recommend the first few collections, but the bloom is kind of off the rose for me. It got repetitive.
4. Fire & Ice: Frazetta: Jay really wanted to go to this. Maybe in his guest blog entry, he will give you the details. The movie is done by Ralph Bakshi, who directed the Lord of the Rings animated movie, Cool World, Fritz the Cat, and other cult classics. It’s a movie where the art of Frank Frazetta comes to life.
5. Sony Presents: Underworld: Evolution; Ghost Rider: Meh. I’ll catch them in the theater.
Maybe.
6. Jeff Smith: The Origin of Bone. I met Jeff at the Sin City premiere. Great guy. I’ve been trying to get my wife to read the Complete Bone tpb I bought recently, but she’s too lazy to lug that giant phone book around.
7. Tenacious D: I would have loved to see Jack Black and that other guy perform, but the place was fricken’ packed.
8. Comic Book Legal Defense Fund (CBLDF) Auction: I really wanted to go to this, but it seemed pointless. I don’t have the kind of money you need for an auction, and I had already donated $50 to the CBLDF, because I love free speech. Plus, I was busy freaking out.
9. The Mindscape of Alan Moore: Matt says Alan Moore is a warlock who hates his own fans. Of course, Matt’s a dick, so take that with a grain of salt.
Moore has an enemy relationship with Hollywood, who have an uncanny knack for taking his work and smearing turd all over it. He’s a jerk about it, but in his defense, he’s usually right.
Say what you want about him, though, the man can write.
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