Limerick Contest Winners and a New Face
First off, I would like to introduce myself. I am Rebecca, Peter’s new assistant, and as you can imagine, I’m really excited to start. I’ll be helping Peter out with some things including coordinating the contests, and other random tasks so that he can concentrate on writing. Here is a photo of myself so you can put a name with a face. I thought this photo was rather appropriate for my first outing on the site.
Now, onto the fun part: announcing the winners of the limerick contest! Peat and I really enjoyed reading all of the limericks. There were more than a few chuckles over the long process of trying to pick the best.
First Prize – Signed Mass Market THE DESERT SPEAR with the winning limerick above Peat’s signature
While Elicius submitted many great limericks, this one is pure gold; it has a great rhyme with a suitably vulgar image:
A young Kaffit grew up in Krasia,
Sold pottery that’d amaze ya,
When no-one was lookin’
His “pickle” he’d put in,
And lay all the blame on the glazer.
This fantastic limerick by AW is the other first prize winner in the contest. Once again some perfect rhyme and such a great kicker at the end.
There once was a red-headed fiddler
Whose friend Leesha made his ruddy loins quiver
He wailed on his strings
And whispered sweet nothings
But never could manage to diddle ‘er.
Second Prize- Signed bookplates with the limerick written on it
With so many great limericks, Peat just couldn’t resist rewarding some of the other great entries.
Alex Quinn’s limerick left us chuckling for quite a while.
Elona’s back windows are boarded
For which she was soon rewarded
When all are working
With a coreling she starts jerking
But it turns out her condoms are warded.
The imagery conveyed in Elliot’s limerick is simply hard to get out of one’s head, once you think about it.
There once was a demon from the core
Whose crotch was awfully sore
For he was made from rock
And his balls did swing and knock
Oh, how loud he could roar.
Honorable Mentions
There were so many hilarious limericks that we had to give a shout out to these ones as well.
From Jonathan, showing that wards can be handy in more than one way:
There once was a lad from the Brook
For whom the ladies shivered and shook
When they got in his trousers
They’d stay there for hours
And Warding was all that it took.
By Tyson, who makes use of a rarely used term:
Jardir made a friend in an alley
Hasik and he were quite pally
But then one year
At the end of a spear
Jardir made the pair’s final sally.
From Alex Pualiani, fully embracing the limerick tradition:
There once was a fiddler named Rojer
Who could charm demon to toddler to codger,
With the demons entranced,
He turned to romance,
And got it from Jardir’s niece and hot daughter.
Liz Canning wrote an amazing limerick about Bruna:
There was once an old healer named Bruna
Who repelled feisty men all the sooner
With blinding powder to the eyes
And a boot between the thighs
In response to the way that they mooned her.
Shout Out
Although he did win first prize, we had to give a special shout out to Elicius who posted a lot of great limericks. Here were some of our favorites.
Unexpected Autumnal Foliage
Walking through the Hollow comes Halfgrip,
Entertaining crowds with a back-flip,
But his trews were untied
and the cold air belied
something Rojer would boast he could equip!
Also:
A mind demon rose from the core,
Found his nethers unbearably sore,
He checked down his pants,
Expecting some ants,
Found a fire demon ‘tached by the claw!
And while it is more of a collection of limericks together, the sheer feat of this one is impressive.
As the demons arose from the core,
in numbers ne’er witnessed before,
desecrating the land –
alagai Ka’s demand –
’till they’re faced with the Wards they abhor.
The Science of men became scattered
t’the winds, as their armies were shattered.
But the magic of old,
down years told and retold;
a bastion, against which death battered.
As the Wards of old give slight reprieve –
mankind allowed slight room to breathe.
Yet the world becomes small;
without succour to call
one must sleep in a circle’s tight weave.
But as strong steel is forged in hot fire;
Deliverance will climb from the pyre.
A bright hope in the night
chose to rise up and fight,
t’make the world, for some, seem much less dire.
Marking his skin, taking battle
to the demons who treat us as cattle.
Saving lives by the score
teaching them t’kill more,
With nought but his horse as his chattel.
So when night closes in ’round your camps –
and you check the last words, dim the lamps –
give a thought to young Bales,
heart of numerous tales,
as your pipes receive their final tamps.
For I’m trying to say with this song,
Arlen’s meeting with Leesha? Quite wrong.
Alone fighting demons,
For numerous seasons,
he’d’ve ne’er even lasted /that/ long.
All the winners will be getting an email from me soon so that I can send out the prizes.
Look out soon for announcement of the pick-a-contest winner.
